Irish Medical Dictionary

Artery = The study of paintings.

Bacteria = Back door to cafeteria.

Barium = What doctors do when patients die.

Benign = What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section = A neighbourhood in Rome

Cauterize = Made eye contact with her.

Colic = A sheep dog.

Coma = A punctuation mark.

Dilate = To live long.

Enema =Not a friend

Fester = Quicker than someone else.

Fibula = A small lie.

Impotent = Distinguished, well known.

Labour Pain = Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff = A Doctor's cane.

Morbid = A higher offer.

Nitrates = Cheaper than day rates.

Node = I knew it.

Outpatient = A person who has fainted.

Pelvis = Second cousin to Elvis
.
Post Operative = A letter carrier.

Recovery Room = Place to do upholstery.

Rectum = Nearly killed him.

Secretion = Hiding something.

Seizure = Roman emperor.

Tablet = A small table.

Terminal Illness = Getting sick at the airport.

Tumour = One plus one more.

Urine = Opposite of you're out.

2 x Condoms = To be sure, to be sure.